Which kind of wife are you?

As wives, we have a choice to be our husbands' greatest asset or greatest detriment.

Proverbs 12:4 describes two wives: “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” One brings good to her husband; one causes harm. 

Building Up vs. Tearing Down

Every day, we make decisions that either build our husbands up or tear them down. When your husband does something to make you mad, you have a decision to make. You can shut down, call a friend, and fuss about how badly he hurt you. This choice leaves you angrier, your husband betrayed, and your friend with a bad impression of him. You can talk to him and let him know how you feel. When you work together to solve the problem, you’ve both learned to communicate, and he’s left with his dignity. Your husband learns he can place his trust in you.

A wife can tear down her husband in a way no one else can. 

Imagine your husband attempts a project around the house, but something goes wrong. You could tell him he should never have tried it to start with. He should have gotten a professional to do it or followed the advice you gave him. The woman he most wants to impress has just expressed her disapproval of him. Where does this leave his confidence? Your other choice is to encourage him. You could show that you are thankful for what he has tried to do — be patient and supportive as he decides how to fix the problem. Encouraging your husband gives him a safe place to be a problem solver. When you believe in him, he more readily believes in his own abilities.

When we believe in our husbands, they are more likely to believe in their abilities.

When it comes to our husbands' work, hobbies, and reputation with the kids, we have a decision to make: Are we going to follow God’s principles of love? Are we going to be wise? Are we going to build our husbands up or tear them down?

As a wife, you have the potential to do the most damage, but by remaining supportive and faithful, you also have the potential to build your husband up like no one else can.