What guys think about what girls wear
It’s time to store away sweaters and scarves, and dig out last summer’s shorts and swimwear. It’s a timely opportunity to buy new clothes and keep spring outfits stylish.
But what exactly does your clothing say about you?
And why do so many men think it's OK to ogle a woman based on the clothing she does or doesn't wear?
The Message Guys Think Short Shorts Send
Here’s the awkward truth: being a guy following Jesus and saying “no” to sinful sexual thoughts and desires isn’t easy.
Lots of us already battle temptations like pornography, masturbation, and sexual activity outside of marriage. We want to live pure lives honoring Jesus (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5), and we’re working on that through God’s grace.
The more we notice a woman's body, the more we tend to want to see, but not because we love her or care about her. Skimpy swimsuits and revealing outfits are often used as excuses for men to think more about a woman's body as a sexual object and less about her as a person.
But we know women don’t deserve to be treated like a commodity. Men's lust and objectification problem is not women's fault; it's our own sin we have to deal with. You are the daughters of God, and the way we see and interact with you matters because it matters to Jesus.
So is there a way for men to take responsibility for how we view ladies and their fashion?
Rethinking Modesty
The solution is not to ban all women’s clothing. It’s not the job of every Christian woman to keep Christian men from sinning. But it is the role of every person following Jesus to look out for the wellbeing of each other (Philippians 2:4).
It’s possible to be clothed from neck to toe but still be immodest, just as it’s possible to have good intentions while wearing clothes that leave little to the imagination.
Modesty does not equal bonnets, ankle-length dresses, and churning butter. It’s possible to be clothed from neck to toe but still be immodest, just as it’s possible to have good intentions while wearing clothes that leave little to the imagination.
Modesty is not merely about the amount of clothing; it’s about inward attitude and outward actions. Those are things individuals work out with God, in community with other people trying to figure it out. The trouble comes from men telling women to dress a certain way or risk being the object of disrespectful, inappropriate male lust. It's not my job as a man to tell women what to wear; it's my job as a person to love God and treat the women around me with respect and dignity, regardless of their wardrobe.
Rethinking Beauty
Rather than focusing on the external, visible aspects of beauty, God emphasizes the qualities He finds beautiful: humility, kindness and trusting Him (1 Peter 3:3-4).
Beauty isn’t just skin deep. Brand names and fashion trends will fade away. The kind of people we want to be — male, female, and everyone — will live on long past the impressions made by our outward appearance.
Some things never go out of style: humility, compassion, living like Jesus, and treating other people well.
Modesty is not merely about the amount of clothing; it’s about inward attitude and outward actions.
Guys, let’s do everything we can to honor the women in our lives. Stop objectifying them and blaming them for your uncontrolled lust.
Ladies, thank you for being patient with and considerate of your Christian brothers who are doing their best to treat you with the same kind of respect and dignity God offers all of us.
As spring moves into summer, perhaps we'll let God’s definition of beauty reframe our perspective of fashion and the people around us. What Jesus values never goes out of style.