Session 22

How to win in every disagreement

From Proverbs: A 31-Day Devotional

Ever had a discussion turn into a heated disagreement? You both believe you’re right and want to change the other’s mind. It’s fun when we’re talking about sports or who gets the rose. But it can turn painful with serious topics like politics or religion.

First, consider your heart and the goal of the conversation. If either person is looking for a fight, it’s time to walk away. “Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults; whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse. Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you … if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer” (Proverbs 9:7-8 and Proverbs 9:12). Arguing for the sake of arguing only brings pain, not godliness.

However, if you’re both seeking wisdom and bringing open minds and gentle spirits, you may both come away wiser. God’s wisdom is available to us all (Proverbs 9:1-6).

When we start a conversation with humility, recognizing our place before God, we’re in a great place to receive His wisdom. Proverbs 9:10 says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”

During the conversation, ask God to reveal His wisdom. Be open to receiving instruction from the other person, while gently offering instruction of your own. If we take this attitude into our disagreements, we’ll experience the benefits of Proverbs 9:9, “Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.”

Imagine what our relationships would look like if we took this approach. We would win every time because we’d either walk away, avoiding unnecessary fights, or we would each come away a little wiser.

Reflect:

• When was the last time you had an argument in which one (or both) of you was arguing for the sake of arguing? How did that go?
• How will you decide whether to you continue a discussion or walk away next time?
• What is one way you can prepare to bring humility and gentleness to your next disagreement?