Session 11

A new way to talk about money

From Tighten The Knot: 14 Days to a Better Marriage

Think about the last argument you had with your spouse. If the fight started about money, you’re not alone. Money Magazine found that 70 percent of couples argue about money more than household chores, togetherness, sex, snoring, or what's for dinner. 

Few things can rile us up or put us on the defensive like someone questioning how we spend our money. That’s because how we spend money reveals what matters to us (Matthew 6:21). 

When we question each other’s spending, we’re usually not arguing over the actual dollars and cents, but about what they represent. For example, one spouse dropping hundreds on a shopping spree might mean the other has to give up a night out or pick up shifts to pay the car note. 

You can avoid a lot of resentment and anger if you both agree to submit to Jesus' priorities and expectations. This changes the way you talk about money because it puts you and your spouse on the same team. 

The conversation is no longer about who gets more. Instead, it’s about how both of you can get behind Jesus’ promises for your finances. You’re no longer pursuing two separate agendas, but submitting both of your agendas to the Lord. 

You’re no longer pursuing two separate agendas, but submitting both of your agendas to the Lord.

Jesus tells us not to worry about keeping up appearances or building our own kingdoms. Instead, Jesus tells us to spend our money on what will last. All the things we buy will one day fall apart or disappear. None of our stuff comes with us into eternity (1 Timothy 6:7). But our relationships? Our faith? These are forever things worth fighting for. 

We can spend our marriage fighting against each other, or we can spend time fighting for unity. A constantly squabbling family disintegrates, but a family pursuing Jesus will grow closer together (Mark 3:24-25). 

Question for him:

• What is most important to you when it comes to your family’s budget? 

• Is what’s important to you important to Jesus? Why?

• If you could change one thing about how your family manages money, what would it be?

Question for her:

• What is most important to you when it comes to your family’s budget? 

• Is what’s important to you important to Jesus? Why?

• If you could change one thing about how your family manages money, what would it be?

Questions to talk about together:

• Share what you wrote with each other. What’s one step you can take to rework your family budget to pursue those priorities?

Don’t have a family budget? Get free budgeting tools or make an appointment with a financial coach at newspring.cc/finances.