Session 5
Are you winning the arguments in your marriage?
From Tighten The Knot: 14 Days to a Better Marriage
How often do you look at your spouse and think no one on the planet would agree with his or her point of view?
So many times, what started as a small disagreement quickly spirals into a fight, and neither of you wants to back down. But as hard as it is to accept, it is more important to be reconciled than to be right.
It is more important to be reconciled than to be right.
As Christians, we are called to forgive those who hurt us, whether that person is a total stranger or the person we sleep beside every night. When Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive someone, Jesus says, “... no not seven times, but 70 times seven.” Jesus’ point is that there isn’t a limit on forgiveness (Matthew 18:21-22, NLT).
God never put a limit on the number of times He was willing to forgive us, and we are to do the same for others (Ephesians 4:32).
God forgives us not because we are forgivable, but because He loves us. We are His. Love is the key to forgiveness. In a marriage, sometimes you have to choose to love your spouse not because they are lovable, but because they are yours.
What does it look like to choose love in marriage? It means not reacting in the moment. It means holding your tongue when you want to speak your mind. It is committing to praying for your spouse. It is elevating your spouse’s needs over your own. It means choosing to forgive before your spouse asks for forgiveness.
Winning the argument is never worth losing the marriage. Unity in marriage isn’t the result of two perfect people living life. It’s what happens when two flawed people learn to forgive.
Question for him:
Question for her:
Questions to talk about together:
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How is winning an argument different from resolving a disagreement?
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What’s one way I can love you better when we disagree?
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Finish this sentence: I know you’re sorry about _______ and I forgive you.