Session 6

How to keep the friendship alive

From Tighten The Knot: 14 Days to a Better Marriage

“I love you, and I like you.” 

When was the last time you heard or said these words to your spouse? Falling in love seems to be the easy part of marriage. Liking each other on a daily basis can be much harder. 

One reason couples drift apart is that they stop dating each other and having fun together. Chances are, you knew you were going to marry your spouse because you realized he or she was more than just another date. When you met your spouse, you found a mate.

Think about the differences between a date and a mate. You impress a date; you ask for help from a mate. You’re polite with a date; you’re honest with a mate. The friendship you share is part of the reason you fell in love in the first place, and time together keeps that friendship alive. 

Proverbs 27:9 says, “Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.” Some of the happiest married couples don’t just love each other. They actually like and respect each other. This provides a place for honest, vulnerable conversation, and both spouses grow as a result of the other’s earnest counsel.

God did not bless us with a spouse just to have a roommate. He gave us someone to encourage and be encouraged by, someone to enjoy spending time with. 

When we invest in our friendship with God and each other, we realize we are able to overcome even more together than we could alone (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). This is what Ecclesiastes means when it says, “two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

Questions for him:

• When was the last time you planned a date like you did when you first met?

• What’s one thing on your mind that you haven’t talked to your wife about yet?

Questions for her:

• How is your friendship with your husband different from your relationships with your girlfriends or your mother? How should it be different?

Questions to talk about together:

• What are your favorite memories of dating or becoming friends?

• What do you enjoy doing together? Schedule some time this month to make that happen.