Session 14

Disappointments don’t have to break your marriage

From Tighten The Knot: 14 Days to a Better Marriage

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Psalm 91

We all encounter loss or disappointment at some point in our life. Where do you go when you don’t get the job, when your kids decide they no longer believe, or the diagnosis isn’t what you thought it would be?

We all react to disappointments differently. Some withdraw, become emotional, or get depressed. Others make themselves busy. And some obsess about trying to fix everything. 

Psalm 91 reminds us that when disappointments come our way, we are not alone. God is right there with us. God can heal our loss, our hurt, and our anxiety. 

We need to communicate with our spouses about the turmoil in our lives. But our spouses are our partners, not our saviors. Husbands and wives cannot heal our hurts the way God can. Only God can rescue us, protect us, deliver us, and satisfy us (Psalm 91:14-16). 

Our spouses are our partners, not our saviors.

Maybe your disappointment is your spouse. There might be deep pain and regret in your marriage. You might think your relationship is beyond repair, but nothing is too far gone for God to repair. 

When disappointment comes, Satan would love nothing more than to isolate you or convince you no one cares. So as hard as it may be, open up to your spouse and to your heavenly Father about how you feel. You can share your worries with God, knowing that He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7)

Maybe you need to go a step further. Ask another couple to come alongside you and your spouse in this season, to pray for you and encourage you. Marriage counseling can also be helpful when recovering from disappointments and losses. 

Do not be afraid to ask for help from God and from others. God is our ultimate healer, and He often works through His people. When we share our pain with each other, we’ll find ourselves growing closer to Jesus and closer together.

Questions for him:

  • How do you respond to disappointment in your own life? In your wife’s life?

Questions for her:

  • How do you respond to disappointment in your own life? In your husband’s life?

Questions to talk about together:

  • What’s the biggest disappointment you’ve faced since getting married? 

  • What’s the best way I can comfort or support you during tough times?

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