Session 7

How are you serving your spouse?

From Tighten The Knot: 14 Days to a Better Marriage

When was the last time you considered your spouse’s feelings and needs first and served them without keeping score? There are many ways to say “I love you,” but one of the best is to serve one another. 

Serving our spouses puts their interests above our own. This takes humility, patience, and a desire for unity (Philippians 2:3-4). Between chores, kids, and work, it’s easy to forget marriage is our first and most important ministry. In serving one another, we’ll find we’re moving toward the mutual respect and submission God wants for our marriages. 

Marriage is the best representation we have of the unity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. As we willingly and sacrificially put each other first, we show the world what real, sacrificial love looks like. 

Marriage shows the world what real, sacrificial love looks like. 

Submission in the Trinity is mutual, and the same is true in marriage. Wives are called to trust and respect their husband’s guidance and direction. Following his lead, even when we don’t agree, is a way of demonstrating our trust in God. Likewise, husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, presenting her spotless and radiant, without blame or fault. Jesus loved the church so much that He gave up His life for her. 

While Ephesians sets a pretty high standard, serving each other can start small. Serving your husband might mean listening to his day and encouraging him, instead of focusing on why he was wrong. Maybe it means learning to trust your husband’s opinions on the family finances. 

Men, giving up your life for your wife can be as simple as listening to her vent or not mocking her yoga class. It can also mean taking extra work to provide for the family or making time to complete that never-ending honey-do list.  

Selfless love and service reach the deepest crevices of the heart. If we want to show our spouses we love them, we start by serving and submitting to one another.

Questions for him:

• What are three things you love about your wife?

• How can you show her this week how much you love those things about her?

Questions for her:

• Is there an area of your marriage where you aren’t trusting your husband’s input? 

• Where does that lack of trust come from?

Question to answer together:

• Fill in the blank: One way you could serve me better is to _______.